The Democrat Party and the World Health Organization (WHO) were longing for a global pandemic of some awful disease to break out this year, especially after Donald Trump turned out to be polling so well. If only Americans would start catching some horrifying disease, they could justify another round of universal mail-in ballots to steal another election! Unfortunately for the globalists, that disease never really materialized—but not for lack of trying. They keep trying to scare us about what the next pandemic will be, but the diseases just aren’t cooperating. Here’s a look at some of the pandemics that just didn’t work out this fall.

Monkeypox

Of all the disease outbreaks that didn’t happen this year, monkeypox is the one we are saddest about. It has the most hilarious name of any disease ever. Plus, it’s fun to say. What makes it even funnier is that it can only be spread through gay anal sex. A monkeypox outbreak would be fun to go through, just to see how many members of Congress started having unexplained two-week absences from work.

“Hey, has anyone seen House Speaker Mike Johnson in the last few days? It’s not like him to miss this much work.”

Unfortunately, the monkeypox outbreak that we were all hoping for never managed to spread outside of Africa this year. The Biden-Harris regime, however, did issue a travel advisory saying that you should avoid having gay anal sex if you travel to Africa. In case anyone needed to be warned about that. You’re welcome, America!

Oropouche

Sometimes it feels like they’re just making up diseases out of thin air, doesn’t it? Oropouche is something that spreads in Latin America and the Caribbean. It causes mild flu symptoms, so they couldn’t really call it a serious pandemic if it spread to the United States. There were 21 cases in Florida, which all originated in Cuba, but that was it.

Avian Flu

Bird flu was another potential pandemic that crapped out before it could go anywhere. We had 14 human cases in the US this year. Now that Anthony Fauci is retired and hasn’t been funneling taxpayer money to China for gain-of-function research, the diseases they’re cranking out just don’t seem to have as much oomph.

Zika

Zika is a mosquito-borne virus that hasn’t gotten as much press in recent years. They had a serious outbreak of it in India this year, but unfortunately for Kamala Harris, it didn’t spread to the United States.

Dengue Fever

Now we’re talking! Dengue fever is a much more serious mosquito-borne virus that can kill you. They had a serious outbreak of dengue in Brazil a few months ago. It was entirely Bill Gates’s fault. Gates paid to genetically modify one billion mosquitoes so they would be resistant to dengue. Then he turned the mosquitoes loose in the three most populous cities in Brazil. We’re not sure if he asked the Brazilian government for permission to do this or if he just did it because he’s Bill Gates.

The next thing you know—oddly enough—Brazil had the worst outbreak of dengue fever in decades. What a weird coincidence. Maybe Bill Gates should have released the mosquitoes in the United States.

It’s too bad for the Democrats that none of these potential diseases panned out in 2024. They were hoping that another pandemic would lead to more universal mail-in voting. Instead, it looks like Americans will have to have an election the old-fashioned way—with less cheating!