Eco-Warriors vs. A Billionaire Scorned: Spoiler Alert, Greenpeace Is Doomed

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Billionaire Kelcy Warren, the Texas mogul behind Energy Transfer, is closing in on what could be his crowning achievement: bankrupting Greenpeace USA. According to The Wall Street Journal, Warren’s company is taking Greenpeace USA to court, accusing the eco-group of financing attacks on the Dakota Access Pipeline (DAPL) and spreading “misinformation” about his beloved project back in 2016.

In case you missed it, the Dakota Access Pipeline was once the crown jewel of environmental protests, yet despite all the outrage, it was completed in 2017. Fast forward a few years, and Kelcy Warren is still fretting over Greenpeace’s supposed role in delaying the project.

Warren’s vendetta stretches back to a 2017 interview where he proclaimed that everyone was just “terrified” of environmental groups—too scared to fight back against those pesky tree-huggers. “But what they did to us is wrong, and they’re gonna pay for it,” he said.

Energy Transfer is now seeking a cool $300 million in damages from Greenpeace USA. If Warren gets his way, Greenpeace USA will be financially vaporized, which would be the kind of corporate bloodbath he probably dreams about. However, Greenpeace International— based in the Netherlands—will be fine because they have no U.S. assets to seize. Despite having zero assets in the U.S., Greenpeace is pulling out all the stops to crank up the drama—and the donations. A quick visit to their website reveals the usual rallying cry, now soliciting handouts because they’re being sued by none other than “Big Oil.”

Initially, Warren’s attorneys took their shot in federal court, but the case was swiftly dismissed. Not ones to be easily dissuaded, they channeled their inner Godfather and refiled in state court under a law originally intended to tackle the mafia. That’s right—Warren is now playing the role of “Don Corleone,” treating Greenpeace USA like Tony Soprano’s waste management operation.

So, what’s fueling Warren’s ire? Apparently, it’s Greenpeace USA’s supposed “central role” in delaying his prized pipeline and allegedly costing Energy Transfer millions. He even said once that climate activists should be “removed from the gene pool.”

Greenpeace USA is fighting back against the lawsuit by claiming it threatens free speech. They insist they were merely a supporting player in the protests—essentially serving as an eco-friendly cheerleading squad rather than the main act.

But let’s not kid ourselves: this is about to get ugly. Greenpeace USA is reportedly preparing for whatever nuclear option Warren decides to drop on them, and yes, bankruptcy is absolutely on the table. Apparently, some of their leaders are squabbling over what kind of settlement might be palatable, like it’s Thanksgiving dinner and not the impending financial collapse of an organization.

One thing’s for sure: Warren isn’t going anywhere. According to Matthew Ramsey, an Energy Transfer board member, “You’re not going to wear Kelcy Warren out, I can promise you that. He will fight to the bitter end.” That’s code for “he’s got way too much money to care,” in case anyone was wondering. Warren could probably keep this lawsuit going for years just to prove that you don’t mess with a billionaire’s pipeline and walk away unscathed.

So, will eco-climate crusaders at Greenpeace finally get what they deserve? Will they crumble under the weight of their own self-righteousness and this billionaire’s vendetta? It’s looking that way. After all, when you poke the oil tycoon bear, you’d better be prepared for some serious financial carnage. Kelcy Warren isn’t just here to win; he’s here to obliterate. Greenpeace USA may soon find out that messing with a pipeline kingpin comes with a hefty price tag—and maybe, just maybe, they’ll think twice before taking on a billionaire with endless resources and a very long memory. But hey, maybe Greenpeace will pull a miracle out of their hemp backpack.